dude...i am a total first class sphincter juice... bad bad me. i deserve some sorta penance. i'm a little scared now that whoever ends up being a girlfriend of mine, i will inevitably hurt or be somewhat of a dick to. i guess it's natural to take things out on those closest to you. butt i dunno... nicki is right. what i'm doing, taking things out on someone because i'm not sure if want to be in the situation... blech- do you understand? basically- she's saying i'm not a man and am just a child. and she's totes correcto.
i am so sorry. it's become such a pattern of treating them badly that it's beginning to get scary. i so do not want to turn out to be that guy who is a creep to women. obviously nothing physically, but things like getting mad at people for the kind of shirt they have on. basically it's me getting mad at myself for not having being man enough having enough ballsacks to end things with someone, so instead i get mad at them b
ecause i feel like i'm trapped in this situation that i don't wanna be in and thus i treat them like shit as a passive way to make them like me less.hate it. real nice. and i'm super sorry...
ugh.
still owe you a blog about san francisco, butt i don't quite know how to make entries where things are so scandalous. is it okay to publicly write about things like 3am walks in the tenderloin joining a session with a crackhead discussing things like gregory abbot?
umm... elections. that's really super and stuff.
tonight i am seeing one of my heroes, aretha franklin. show actually starts in 83 minutes.
work is getting extremely more jobby job.
i am staining my floors and probably not doing it the correct way.
what else.
my only crush right now is really on L
umm..
i think i should stop chasing women under 26-27.
this is difficult for me to even write this. butt i think it's for the best.
i want to go to a nice thanksgiving party.
i wanna cook a lot.
oh yeah. some heavy shit went down in san francisco. my eldest uncle p
ast away. a general, head of the korean CIA, eldest boy in my mom's family and then another uncle is in stable condition. my mom had to fly to korea when i was out there. other shit went down too... can't even talk about it. haven't even told anyone except for maybe antony...okay then everyone.
off to see aretha, then i gotta put the second coat of poly on my floors.
i hope i don't turn all scummy and am an eternal mean boyfriend.
i need to grow up a little. maybe a lot.
poo!
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