weird people

is that at all so diffuicult? can people at the gym not look up from their feet after they see you five times because they don't want to say hi or are scared that they might have to enter a conversation past a normal hello? weak.

also... i was having a conversations with a girl with some dog on my street in front of my house. it was a delightful conversation and she was going to a dog birthday party. how lovely i thought. then the dog took a shit in front my house and she just walked off saying, "bye!" and i was like... i dunno what i was like. after a great conversation, can you ask someone to pick up their dogg shit?

weird.

people are weird.

and i'm probably one of the weirdest.

shit. being weird is not very conducive to getting some...

bye.

weight up!

hmmm....

izzit really an age thing? some or all of you (yes, all of you one reader out there reading this) know me well enought that every spring i have a personal goal of hitting the BBITW. (best body in the world) Now, over the past 4 years every may 1st, i hit that goal and you know... i walked around all summer with the BBITW. It was nice. i would basically train and diet my ass off between the months of march and april going to the gym 7 days a week eating just tofu and sand and then come may, when i would usually have to be donning a gold thong for my greek performances, i would hit my goal and thus look in the mirror all the livelong day. this would be great because my metabolism would be set and i could go to the beach all summer and nosh on pizza, burgers, and butter and i would be okay.

this year is different. we are doing romeo and juliet (which isn't doing so hot) unless you are an extremely generous reviewer, i would have to agree with the times... this adaptation is kinda weak...

i'll go more into that later, butt more importantly. this year my body is riding at LLTP (little less than perfect) i cannot hit the squares on the abs this year and my chest got thinner and i weight155, four pounds over the ideal BBITW weight.

i bought body fat calipers to measure, JG's stupid scale says i'm at 22%, but at the gym they say i'm at 8%. must be in between... butt to me the real measure is how i longingly look at myself in the mirror and i don't see the chunky square on my abs.

on the one hand it's a blessing. when i am that chiseled, i sometimes rip my shirts on the sharp right angles that my ripped muscles make. butt not this year....

is it because i changed my workout? because i ate four barrels of food at 4 cinco de mayo parties this year so that i weighed in at 162 after that week? is it because i'm 34 and things don't work like that? can one year produce such a precipitous decline?

i have been going to rehearsal after work, getting out of rehearsal at sometimes 11:30 and then going to the gym until 1am only to have to go back to work the next day at 9:00am and i repeat this for 5 days a week. and still... LLTP.

i asked my therapist, what up with that therapist? and she called me a perfectionist! first time i ever been called that! that's great!

anyhow.... sorry to disappoint all you ladeeeez and some of the fellas out there.

i'm still working on it.