dory toes...

best email ever...

Top 10 ways to be the funny guy in the office:

10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if
they don't, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you
the sympathy remarks, tell them how you are just kidding and tell them
that they are a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard. During the meeting,
put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big
loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the
person next to you and say, 'beat that'.

7. Inform a male co-worker that he 'wouldn't make a good hooker.' Then
piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good 'ass fucking'.

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand
down your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with "fuck if I know!" then call
the person a racial slur that doesn't match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your
nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.

3.Shit on the floor of your office and when someone comes in and sees
it, tell them its the fake kind. When they try to pick it up and
realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

2. Run down the hall with your dick hanging out while pissing all over
and yell, "it wont stop! God help me! It wont stop!" Then when it
stops, look down and say, "oh".

1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it
in your ass. Return it and tell the person to smell it. When they tell
you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had it in my ass!"