dearest beautiful ones,
as many of you know, i am migrating to london for a little bit in
a coupla weeks… apologies if this is the first you are hearing of it, but i was
hoping the NY Times would cover it. when they didn’t approach me, i called them
and offered to write it for them. when they hung up on me, i called back and
asked how much it would cost to take out a small ad. when they told me how much
it costs per letter- i beamed and now am proud to admit that my move is being
covered in the NEW YORK TIMES people!!!! the headlines in tomorrow’s NEW YORK
TIMES (in the classifieds under the “handyman wanted” section) reads very
clearly:
“POOs mvn 2 LDN!”
knowing that i’m prolly gunna get all famous tomorrow from the
press and such- i felt a responsibility to distance myself from the throes of
americans with a repugnant knowledge of global geography. as such, i took it
upon myself to dig up some intel on this little known region called great
britain. so i went and looked at a map and... OmyG.- i don’t know if they
covered this during one of the 1384 days I cut class to go to the bathroom and
look at myself in the mirror- but i’ma drop some enlightenment on that ass. ya
see, according to this here map, great britain (get this!) great britain… is a
freakin ISLAND!!!!!! you’ll hafta accept my apologies if i just dislocated your
jaw by causing it to drop to the floor, but I mean… are you kidding me? i know
i promised some of you that i would be good about keeping in touch and i’d
always be there for you, but - palm trees, coconuts, surf?!? i mean honestly
dudes- good luck gettin’ a hold of me... i’ll be knockin back virgin pina
coladas whilst knockin boots with virgin hula girls at the nearest luau because
i mean- I can’t promise you they got paved roads much less innanet...
new york: although my stay in london is ephemeral as i will be on
loan for a little over a year, as i was biking around this past weekend i was
reminded of why i love this city so much and of all the things i will miss. i
biked over the manhattan bridge to see the stunning skyline of lower manhattan
set behind the brooklyn bridge. rolling along, a biggie song randomly popped up
on my ipod and I coincidentally realize I’m in bed-stuy, where he’s from. i
make my way to bushwick to fall asleep to a friends reading of bad new play in
great new art space then zoom off to queens to eat at one of the best thai
restaurants in the country for 10 bucks. across to harlem where i see beautiful
children pour out of church spectacularly dressed in pastel spring suits,
dresses, and bonnets. pass lincoln center where i once had my mind blown at the
met opera by a million dollar production of verdi’s nabucco. only to have my
mind blown even further later that night watching a singer belt her soul out to
an audience of four in some downtown lounge i couldn’t even tell you the name
of. continue on through strawberry fields in gorgeous central park where a
buncha peeps are playing guitar and singing “a day in the life” and everyone
passing by knows the lyrics and stops to sing along. and it’s not cheesy at all
because it’s fucking beautiful. i passed by the metropolitan museum of art
where during sandy I might have (depending on if your name begins with
officer...) eaten some mushrooms and ended up having a deep conversation with
the bronze bust of artemis for an hour as her face was melting. stopped at the
whitney to inhale the american legends exhibit. took a breather at sutton place
and looked across the 59th street bridge while scarfing down a bag of central
park nutz, raced down to washington square park where some acrobatic kids were
putting on a show in the foutnain that’s better than 80% of what’s in theaters.
sat down across from a bench where two doods are making out next to an old
chinese couple holding hands. raced down to soho where i bought some goji
berries for 9 bucks. cruise down a couple more blocks to chinatown where i see
the same goji berries in less fancy packaging for like 2 bucks. take a yoga
class in the lower east side and look around think "yeah- i would probably
sleep with just about everyone in this class" then finally retreating back
to my beloved east village in tompkins square where the first tulips and
daffodils are just peeping through the earth yearning to kiss the sunshine in
the forthcoming weeks telling me spring is finally here…
and yet even with all this magnificence, it is absolutely nothing
compared to the people that i’ve come to know and love here- my theater family,
my local restaurants and bodega family, my work family, my co-op family, my
neighborhoods stalwarts, and of course my friends. i can’t believe how
incredibly blessed i am to have all you. even though I’ll be back next year
sometime which will go by in a new york minute (and I fully recognize that I’m
a self-indulgent drama queen here) it’s hard to imagine leaving this support
structure that I love with every ounce of my soul even for the shortest of
whiles.
butt sometimes it’s important to leave what’s comfortable.
*sigh*
aaaaanushow— whereas my luggage was going to consist of mostly
business stuff- y’know my laptop, 15 cowboy boots, balloons, glitter, hair
product, and booty shorts- now that i know i’m going to an island, alls i’m
bringin is “the island boy starter kit for city slickers– deluxe edition” which
i got for 39.97 at target. comes with a matching loincloth/bone amulet set and
a spear with modular tips for hunting fish vs. boar! and for only 5 dollars
more, they’ll monogram it for me! lawd I miss america already
-eh I’ll bring the hair product too.
bye new yawk! last day is 4/20 (heyyyyy 4/20!)
hi london! tarzan is en route!
i love you!
poo!
