urine deep trouble

i thought that these lowered urinals were for children, but on sunday night at the movies with jbrecognize i discovered that they could also be used by black dudes!

dope!

devil's advocado...

dudes!

i discovered the secret to cooking at home!!! you just buy avocado's and that's it! jbrecognize turned me on to it! they're so delicious, anyone can do it! you can even take a shit and slap some avocado on it and voila! that shit is delicious! litrully!

so i hung out with jung-hwa on friday night. i was all nervous beforehand on what to do, my mom told me she was married, so i decided to get a little loopy and then when it came time to meet her in a bar, i crawled up to her on my hands and knees and rubbed my head against her knee. pretty bad move. she thought i was nuts and i had to pull it back a bit. as the night wore on, i found out she isn't married- i overheard her stylist say she was a singer and i played dumb. really? you sing? are you any good? have you decided to pursue a career in it? really? it is your career? really? you're well known? ... the night wore on and it was fun. we kissed a couple times, butt i think i was too loopy that i forgot how to french kiss. i was trying to remember if i go in with my mouth open or if i go and kiss her and then open my mouth. idiot. plus i didn't wanna get all up in her mouth in front of her posse. anushow. we kissed a couple times, but no lengua. longest kiss was maybe 2.8 seconds. some warm embraces, butt i just said good night and she left for los angeles.

gunna cook dinner for her and her stylist and her other friend soon.

saturday i cleaned my house. man. i'm a dipshit and do not know how to clean. i see a pile of shit and i decide to move like two pencils at a time and on my way of putting them in the same drawer as my underwear, i get distracted and decide to wash some dishes. while washing some dishes, i decide to change the music. while i'm on itunes, i decide to look for some cowboy boots on ebay, while one ebay i forget that i'm looking for boots and look at the gucci fanny packs. i just can't fucking clean.

anyhow. running on three hours sleep, i go see danny krivit with lei which i have to say again, rooled. i go to roemer's house from danny krivit and need to wash my versace sweats in her kitchen sink because i danced in them and they are longer than my legs so like the bottoms are all muddy and i love these sweats. i spend another hour cleaning them with hot water, then i use sarah's nice face products and try to get rid of this ginormous polpys of a zit to the stage left of my nose. i think this is the biggest zit of my adult career. the kind of zit that i usually would call in sick to work. anushow i get to bed at 6:30 after spanking to cinemax and then i have to wake up at friggin 7:45 because i promised to help her setup for the ave a flea market which is why i slept over.

so then i go back to her house and crash til 1. bring my sweats to get dry cleaned. head over to brooklyn to polly and jonny's brunch in honor of their future child. see a buncha good friends. get home and jbrecognize convinces me to go see somkin' aces because he's been in an acting workshop all weekend. i get hella loopy and then meet him at the theater. i put my hat down at the ticket counter. the movie had moments, butt overall sucked. looked for my hat all over my seat, all over my backpack because i was making a concious effort to not lose shit. and then josh found it still hanging out at the ticket booth 3 hours later.

weak.

slept over josh's. couldn't fall asleep until like 2 and woke up at 9. still need a great night of sleep after a combined 16 hours in the last 3 days. my zit is now a big scab after i played with it. i was a jerk to #1 today and i hope to make it up tomorrow.

saw crash tonight as i cooked a yam, bacon, avocado (yum), and greens salad, with blackened tilapia and beans and rice and watched crash which was good butt shouldn't have won best movie last year.. it sure is fulfilling cooking for yourself. i ate smiling and proud of myself.

like i said. i need to sleep.

good night.

danny krivit is my savior...

so i met up with leilani last night to go to 205 where danny krivit was spinning downstairs... dude! the best soulful tracks / disco / old school disco imagineable! thank you so much for the best dance night since that one epic day at ps1 when you rocked us then! danny krivit roolz!

Josephine Cochran is my hero...

she invented the dishwasher. apologies to the world for assuming that the inventor was some guy... well, accourding to my appliance, i thought Ken More invented it.

the trouble with all in one stores like a lot of stores is that i had a very special need for some lamb shanks for watching tom shanks look really really weird and is not aging well... last week for my #1 crush (whom by the way i have decided to give up) the dinner turned out sooooo dope.... butt when i called whole foods to see if they had lamb shank, they said we have a couple kinds. i'm like !?!?!? couple kinds of lamb shank!? i never cooked it so maybe there's different kinds of lamb shanks. like tom lamb shanks... so i get there and i talk to the lady and she takes me to lamp shades... i'm like, ?!?!!? turns out they were out of lamb shank, so i had to go to dean & deluca to get me some shanks. braising is a very delicious cooking method by the way. i'm going to see if they have hell at whole foods so that maybe i can try to braise hell...

umm. is whole foods supposed to be cheap? i thought it was like a trader joe's.. can someone tell me if it's supposed to be a value market? i guess not since i get no visitors on this blog, butt if someone by chance knows if whole foods is not supposed to be cheap lemme know! the mahi-mahi is more expensive than at dean and deloooks! that's ridiculouse!

addendum to the last post-

to her credit for actually kissing me, she was completely wasted and probably had no idear what she was doing. and by no means was it a make out sesh. just a coupla gregory pecks...

so the top three crushes are now nil... and i have no crushes. i will be casting new crushes next wednesday at 367 little west 12th street from 9-11pm. no emails or phone calls will be returned.
ladies... this is your big break.

uhm...

so like...


i went to the club cielo last night and some random girl came up to me and said you're asian! and i said i'm korean and she says really? do you know who i am, i'm like no and then like an hour later we were ***** up in da cluuuub and then some gay korean fashion stylist dude came up to me as i was leaving and said you're a lucky guy, do you know who that is?!??

that's uhm jung-hwa, that's uhm jung hwa- the biggest pop singer/actress in korea!!!!

happy poo year!

i got a lot to tell all you all... butt more later.

right now, i'm cooking dinner with workhorse and babs for her birthday. they are playing wii right now and i started cooking a salt crusted striped bass.

more on my super argentina trip later, my new years resolution, and the end of the mlc later.

just wanted to share with you that after i got back from argentina, i didn't wanna shower because i didn't wanna dry out my skin to preserve my luscious tan. so i didn't shower for like a week. and maybe i took some chewy shits... i dunno. whatever it was i was walking around my apartment naked and i dropped something and then when i squatted down to pick it up i could smell my ass...

so... who wants to make out?


anushow, happy poo papsmyear!