dear abbey...

dear abbey,

well… I failed miserably last night. I would say that there’s a couple things I’m good at in life. Definitely not many, butt meeting new people and striking up conversation is not a worry for me and It’s something that I usually excel at. I have actually been dating (dating as in going on a specific date, not dating anyone) a lot lately and I would have to say it’s been fun. Nothing resulting into any fruition, but you go hang out with a completely new person, they’re pretty, and it’s fresh. What’s not fun about that? Anushow, last night I went on an expedition with a scottish farmer who cultivates his own land… I think that’s right. I met him at 9:45 at my neighborhood Vietnamese restaurant and we sat down and had dinner. It was all going okay until I hit this wall of exhaustion… like I said, when meeting people I would say if there was a problem it would be that I’m too much (read: annoying) for people, butt never am I boring…

Butt dude, I was a complete doorknob. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was because I had previously been on 2 dates that week. Maybe it was because I was exhausted, butt still usually I recognize the importance of a first impression and can step up. Last night, I was far from it… I have never been so lost as I was last night. Weird… I think he was adorable which was the worst part of it. Or was it that I was feeding off his energy and our chemistry wasn’t there and I was just enamored by his hair?

I dunno… If he sucked, I wouldn’t be beating myself over it, butt the fact that I think I blew… well- it bloze. Like when I have a performance and I fucked up? I can’t do shit for days.

I’m not sure why I want to see him again if it means the possibility of making myself look like a milk dud again. butt I do want to see scott the farmer again…

we’ll see.