at o'hare airport (actually at josh's dads in maui- dope) and i'm on board a flight to LAX. Picked a chicken pesto sando at the airport. Planes to LA are funny because LA is funny. Bound to be a handful of dyed blonde heads dressed like they're on rodeo drive. this couple is early 40s , the woman with big blonde hair and then main wearing a tight shirt and he's in shape, but he shouldn't be wearing his shirt that tight. perfectly tussled hair though and the tribal tattoos and some wrinkles. also some sunset youth rockers with piercings and tattoos...
don't get me wrong- i love every minute of it. plus me dressed in sweats tucked into cowboy boots and faux gucci and my rojas t-shirt (LA based designer!) prolly looks pretty california.
my sando was wrapped in some plastic wrap with tons of strong tape on it. it was like super tape and i was futively trying trying to peel back the tape butt it's too complex so you try to bro it open with brute force, butt the tape wouldn't budge... finally, after strangling my sandwich for like 5 minutes i was finally able to get the wrapper off (or rather pulled the sandwich through an opening and pulled the sando through the opening) and polityly consumed my sandwich which now lie before me like in 6 pieces and they looked like they been through the wash. doesn't mean i won't be eating the airline food... it still falls into my favorite genre of food- free food...
looking out the iwndow, i see the baggage peeps throw my bag on the escalating ramp from 10 feet away. gorillas.
****
about to set down in LAX. my last landing into ORD from LGA was a bit rocky. i think the lady in the aisle over was praying not because it was rocky but because it looked like something she did everytime she did every time she landed...
anusways, i was thinking of dying (yay!) and how it doesn't really scare me to die. i mean i would feel horrible only because my mother would have to bury her son. don't misunderstand- i love life and think it's the best, butt it's difficult... fer shur. Die-ing? yeah crashing nad perishing in the flames with schrapnel bits embedded in my skull probably wouldn't be the most pleasureable thing so i'll keep living tonight and enjoy life now.
yes please, thanks you very much.
funny, i used to be scared of dying as a kid because i would be dead and my parents would have to clean my room and my mom would find some porn. funnier that i remembered this and then 2 hours later i was watching transformers in flight and shia le bouf said the exact sme thing innit. twenny from lax, 72 degrees and mountains and desert. california is the fucking best ever....
listening to the strokes right now because that was the t-shirt in tranformers. i thought they sucked for the longest time because angre beavery said he thought they sucked. i don't think so now and i don't think he would think so either actually.
(note to self) i don't understand internet certificates and secure ID, and radius servers in computing. i want to know what that means...
sorry...
the boy next to me is playing with a strecthy lizard and a darth vader. crazy... one of my most vivid childhood memories is of a show and tell in kindergarten (mrs basso's class) hmm.. maybe miss. basso.. anush how, i brought an alligator and luke skywalker and fought them for show and tell. just as the boy next to me thrust his trusty saber into the stretchy lizard's mouth did i do the exact same motion 30 years ago (but with luke). exactly... physical verbatim. crazy.
about to touch down in lax. really could hang here for 3 days to say hi to everyone and play here. butt i have more beautiful beaches to see, and i'm saying that in califonia...
jeez
i will update about my awesome hawaii trip soon, and i still somewheres owe an update of p's visit and epic halloween week, however today is the last day i am smoking cigarettes. (crossing my fingers that usually hold my smoke) so... i'm trying to get a carton in me in the next 24 hours. it's actually very sad. i feel like i'm leaving a friend, a lover of 15 years that's been through it all. butt as the girl in the elevator at 
spring street said, she ain't loving you back. i'm going to miss not all, butt some of the cigs i have are so precious... a bit scared and a bit- i dunno, lonely?!?!?! i'm just going to miss it is all. if only it weren't so cool...
