fuck

Sho! thish ish firftee shevemp- (sorry, let me put in my dentures-)

*click* okay…

So! This is thirty seven! “It’s not so bad” I thought as I downed my second can of ensure and fastened the straps on my depends. I put on my tri-focals and squinted at my list of things I had to do today in my newfound elderly state:

11:00 eat applesauce
12:00 take a nap
1:30 play cribbgage
3:30 take a nap
4:00 collect coins
4:30 complain
5:15 take a nap
6:00 knit
8:00 try to use the self service checkout counter and get confused when trying to pay with a check. When the attendant comes, I will say I also have some coupons.

Thanks family for remembering this day. This very special day in your life. Maybe the most important day in all your life. Probably the most significant event in the history of all mank-

Anyways… freals- Thanks so much for making this surreal segment of my life, extremely tolerable.

lots have passed...

god you gotta be-

shit. what was i writing?

anushow, i'm in tomkins sq park today working and the weather is glorious here on the last day of my 36th year. god. after being cooped up for ten weeks, i am looking around at the local talent and i think i will just about fuck anything that moves. including you over there you sexy squirrel...

forever came over a coupla wednesdays ago. it was funny. we were gon see a movie, but got stoned instead and then we started talking and laughing and it was nice. i had lotsa gas from eating so much wegetables butt i had to squeeze the cheeks see because you know... new girl and all. and then we were laughing so hard that a little goose egg of a fart slipped out. i started laughing harder and she's like what's so funny duddy? and so i say, oh! she's cool! and then i fart again and this time since i been holdin it all in for like 2 hours, a matt daddy fart comes out and shakes the foundation. and then she looks sincerely confused and has no idea what happened like in lost when the big time/space flash warp happens.

anyways i decide to kiss her out of the blue and we do and it's nice. she's a freak so it's nice. she tries to go to argentina, but i had to pull her up because i hadn't showered in 3 weeks.

i'm such a gentleman.

the oc took me out to peasant, i spent a coupla days in the north fork. i'm working again a bit and walking around. feels good.

it's fall though and although today is splendid, i can't believe i missed a fucking summer of my life.

show me the money...