today i just wrote a very long letter to yeya who never writes me back. i haven't done this since i saw my shrinky dink. my old mode of thought is, what have i got to lose when i write these long ass emails to these people. and then in retrospect, it is some of the stupidest shit i've ever done.
i really haven't done it since judge gotomayer and have become calm, but i diddit again today and i think it's dumb.
butt you know what? i was about to stop writing, butt i just remembered that amidst all the anxiety and neurosis that went into these crazy emails to women, i remember that i was missing the passion that existed when i did this and it actually came back again today. i'm not going crazy about if she'll write back, butt at least i wrote a passionate email to a woman again, instead of the usual... "i've been good thanks, weekend was fun... let's meet up"
i was going to include an excerpt, butt i just reread the email and it is embarrassing...
butt passionate!
rather be insane and crazy and full of passion, that sedate and mundane. even if it means being more peaceful...
maybe not. butt maybe...
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