there was once a time when I was the lone bear in the axiom technology cave. you might be asking yourself “how poogene? how could one person possibly support 6 users?” well… i think we all know the answer to that one. since i am half-man / half-amazing, i was able to deftly respond to the 4 problems a week we were having. but then over the course of the next 5 years something unexpected happened and jolted me out of my SPANX® for Men. we grew at an alarming rate and thus more problems needed to be resolved, more solutions needed to be provided and I was not ready to just up and stop googling myself all day.
something had to be done- somebody had to make up for my slack…
peering frantically across the room, mine eyes landed on a grinning knave busting away at excel spreadsheets. his name was Mario Browne and he was the new accounting temp. he extended his hand out to greet me and i traced his hand up his arm and at the end was a smile as wide as the world wide web. well, I mean- his mouth isn’t actually on his shoulder, it’s on his face. i don’t mean that his arm comes out of his mouth, I’m just trying to be poeti-
anyways. dude- that’s not the point.… he joined me 6 years ago and i showed him everything i knew. 12 minutes later he asked if i knew anything else. he has a learning curve that’s so steep, it’s like more like a vertical line. as he quickly came to speed on helping out with tech, order was restored. i could finally go back to spending the precious, necessary hours in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror.
boy wonder has more patience than Bellevue, more smarts than an ass-whoopin, and our attorneys adore him. as do we. as do i… he’s a huge part of our family and our culture. how axiom played a huge part in his personal journey from barbados is one of our best stories. i’m so glad we took a chance on this lanky 19 year old bajan. i’ve no idea where i’d be without him
happy six years mb.
i love you homey,
poo!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
this time it's different...
this time it's sad as in a death
because this time i think i'm done fighting for it and it's really over. it's strange... this summer and the low points of this year were some of the worst i can remember. waaay worse than getting run over by the freight truck and when it came to tears over the summer, there were very little or none.
last night was different. the only two things that ever depress me are heartbreak and death. death is so confusing and out of our control and larger than life that in comparison it makes most breakups seem trivial. mind you i have thankfully never been through a homicide or violent death, butt when you are going through heartbreak there is rejection and there is ego and it clouds judgement in everything.
i mean i don't know what i'm ever talking about, butt anushow this time was different. last night i sobbed a deluge. and it was different. like a death. it was free of ego and rejection wasn't really an issue. it was pure sadness that it was over and with it a token of peace that it was going to be okay.
whereas these feelings were much more real than last summers, last summer hit me on the had like a jackhammer and the pain was much deeper and masked.
this is the admission that it's over and i should give up the fight for what i so believed to be true for about a year now.
i care so much for her. i love it when she gets really silly and scrunches her nose when she laughs really hard, i love it when she plays characters, i love it when she hugs me and shakes up and down, i love it when we snugs on weekend mornings, i love it when we're doin the deed, i love it when we fart, i love it when you do the karate chop boxing punch tilt head dance when you sing, i love it, i love it, i love it.
so many good things butt we i guess we can't seem to get some essential things in order to make it work and it's gone on too long.
it's just sad that i have to surrender, but sometimes you do.
and i'll be okay.
bye bye angel face.
because this time i think i'm done fighting for it and it's really over. it's strange... this summer and the low points of this year were some of the worst i can remember. waaay worse than getting run over by the freight truck and when it came to tears over the summer, there were very little or none.
last night was different. the only two things that ever depress me are heartbreak and death. death is so confusing and out of our control and larger than life that in comparison it makes most breakups seem trivial. mind you i have thankfully never been through a homicide or violent death, butt when you are going through heartbreak there is rejection and there is ego and it clouds judgement in everything.
i mean i don't know what i'm ever talking about, butt anushow this time was different. last night i sobbed a deluge. and it was different. like a death. it was free of ego and rejection wasn't really an issue. it was pure sadness that it was over and with it a token of peace that it was going to be okay.
whereas these feelings were much more real than last summers, last summer hit me on the had like a jackhammer and the pain was much deeper and masked.
this is the admission that it's over and i should give up the fight for what i so believed to be true for about a year now.
i care so much for her. i love it when she gets really silly and scrunches her nose when she laughs really hard, i love it when she plays characters, i love it when she hugs me and shakes up and down, i love it when we snugs on weekend mornings, i love it when we're doin the deed, i love it when we fart, i love it when you do the karate chop boxing punch tilt head dance when you sing, i love it, i love it, i love it.
so many good things butt we i guess we can't seem to get some essential things in order to make it work and it's gone on too long.
it's just sad that i have to surrender, but sometimes you do.
and i'll be okay.
bye bye angel face.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
farts vs. burps
somehow through the ages i think we were led to believe that farts are socially less acceptable than burps. not sure how this happened butt i'd like to state my argument for farting...
for some reason farts have a bad reputation for smelling bad. this can be true or not true i guess. butt burps are usually disgusting because you smell the persons not yet digested food mixed with their breath. i think. i mean it's kinda like the argument of sausage vs. bacon. bacon is wonderful, butt there are a thousand different varieties of sausage and to me at least bacon is not better than a nice hot italian sausage. bacon is better than most wursts, which to me is just a hot dog- but not the italian stuff...
maybe that doesn't make much sense, butt here's the deal. i don't know if you've ever walked into a fog of someone's burp butt the faces i usually make after doing so is one of disgust and intolerance. i don't like it and it's not a happy feeling at all. it's just gross. maybe i'm biased because i once remember i was hiking on acid with some fat dude with bad acne and he kept burping and i grew to hate him and burps all togeths. i'm also korean and the burps you get after a heavy meal of short ribs and kimchee aren't cool at all.
farts on the other hand depending on if the person eats a lot of cabbage and nothing else, doesn't have to smell that bad at all. sometimes they are odorless and nothing butt happy fun jovial squeaks. don't get me wrong, i've been around farts that are the product of mcdonalds, meth, soda, and cigarettes- and the end result is a brand of fart smell that is confusing. i remember laying one of these while driving cross country and even though i iknew i just expunged something i could have sworn i was driving by some chemical sewer treatment plant because the smell could not have been man made. butt the important thing to note here was that was putrid as it was and even though everyone in the car made a horrible weird anguished face gesture, i'd have to say that after people were laughing in disbelief and there was a camaraderie shared amongst us and we were elated...
well. maybe not elated, butt people were laughing-
or umm.. mebbe it was just me.
anushow, that's my argument. i think farts are generally a happier thing than burps, less grotesque, and should be more socially acceptable. i think we should start young and teach our children this early.
okay.
bye.
for some reason farts have a bad reputation for smelling bad. this can be true or not true i guess. butt burps are usually disgusting because you smell the persons not yet digested food mixed with their breath. i think. i mean it's kinda like the argument of sausage vs. bacon. bacon is wonderful, butt there are a thousand different varieties of sausage and to me at least bacon is not better than a nice hot italian sausage. bacon is better than most wursts, which to me is just a hot dog- but not the italian stuff...
maybe that doesn't make much sense, butt here's the deal. i don't know if you've ever walked into a fog of someone's burp butt the faces i usually make after doing so is one of disgust and intolerance. i don't like it and it's not a happy feeling at all. it's just gross. maybe i'm biased because i once remember i was hiking on acid with some fat dude with bad acne and he kept burping and i grew to hate him and burps all togeths. i'm also korean and the burps you get after a heavy meal of short ribs and kimchee aren't cool at all.
farts on the other hand depending on if the person eats a lot of cabbage and nothing else, doesn't have to smell that bad at all. sometimes they are odorless and nothing butt happy fun jovial squeaks. don't get me wrong, i've been around farts that are the product of mcdonalds, meth, soda, and cigarettes- and the end result is a brand of fart smell that is confusing. i remember laying one of these while driving cross country and even though i iknew i just expunged something i could have sworn i was driving by some chemical sewer treatment plant because the smell could not have been man made. butt the important thing to note here was that was putrid as it was and even though everyone in the car made a horrible weird anguished face gesture, i'd have to say that after people were laughing in disbelief and there was a camaraderie shared amongst us and we were elated...
well. maybe not elated, butt people were laughing-
or umm.. mebbe it was just me.
anushow, that's my argument. i think farts are generally a happier thing than burps, less grotesque, and should be more socially acceptable. i think we should start young and teach our children this early.
okay.
bye.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
bob loblaw...
i just played a game and the name scott baio just came up and i found out his name on arrested development was bob loblaw.
that was about 5 days ago. i still can't believe how ingenious that is.
okay
bye
that was about 5 days ago. i still can't believe how ingenious that is.
okay
bye
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thursday, October 06, 2011
jobless...
i remember in the 1981 when my parents spent 5000 dollars on an apple IIe computer and all i did was stay home and write these programs in basic i would learn in magazines and it was the funnest shit ever. i had the gay pride apple sticker on everything back then. then i ended up working in technology and we were born in the same city and i did a buncha drugs and alt lifestyle and you fit in perfectly. i watch biographies about you and marveled at your tenacity for perfection. you were a mini hero in my life and i love you.
thanks for changing the world-
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
pootopes!
Thanks to the 100 Poos that made it out for Pootopia 2011. Pictures from the evening can be found at http://pootopia2011.shutterfly.com. Enjoy!
http://pootopia2011.shutterfly.com
Subject: A surprise party for Poo!
It’s OK to admit that you sometimes wish you were someone else. That you sometimes think, “if only I could be different.” I want thicker hair. I want to pull off ludicrously daring fashion choices. I want sun-kissed olive skin and ripped abs.
What you want, deep down in your subconscious, is to be Eugene the Poogene. And that’s ok, because dammit, that’s what we all want.
So what we have in the works, fellow Poogene-lovers, what I want to put before you at this moment, is an epic surprise party for Poo. A “Pootopia.” It’s apropos of nothing, which is the best way to execute a surprise. It’s not his birthday, or his anniversary, or anything like that. This is a party we’re throwing simply because we love that MF the way a fat kid loves cake.
What makes it even better is that we have an opportunity here to give Poo his idea of the ultimate gift: Being surrounded by a bunch of people that look exactly like him. How, you ask? By dressing like him. That’s the theme of the Pootopia. Come dressed as Eugene the Poogene.
The Poo of your soul
=
The Poo that lays hidden deep inside you
Let that inner Poo come out.
The details of Pootopia are these.
Fact: Pootopia begins on Friday June 24 at 8pm
Fact: Pootopia will be held at Tacombi (267 Elizabeth Street)
Fact: At Pootopia, we will all dress as Eugene the Poogene
Fact: At Pootopia, food and drinks will be served from taco trucks parked inside the venue
Fact: Poo will be escorted to Pootopia under the guise of a private dinner, and he will have no idea what awaits him
Fact: I will be texted upon Poo’s approach, so that everyone can start chanting “Poo Gene! Poo Gene!”, and he will hear it from way down the street, which will completely freak his s#$! out
Fact: I’ve sure I’ve left some important people off of this chain so please feel free to forward along the invitation to other Poogene lovers
Please let me know if you can make it/if you have any questions.
Be there.
Liana
http://pootopia2011.shutterfly.com
Subject: A surprise party for Poo!
It’s OK to admit that you sometimes wish you were someone else. That you sometimes think, “if only I could be different.” I want thicker hair. I want to pull off ludicrously daring fashion choices. I want sun-kissed olive skin and ripped abs.
What you want, deep down in your subconscious, is to be Eugene the Poogene. And that’s ok, because dammit, that’s what we all want.
So what we have in the works, fellow Poogene-lovers, what I want to put before you at this moment, is an epic surprise party for Poo. A “Pootopia.” It’s apropos of nothing, which is the best way to execute a surprise. It’s not his birthday, or his anniversary, or anything like that. This is a party we’re throwing simply because we love that MF the way a fat kid loves cake.
What makes it even better is that we have an opportunity here to give Poo his idea of the ultimate gift: Being surrounded by a bunch of people that look exactly like him. How, you ask? By dressing like him. That’s the theme of the Pootopia. Come dressed as Eugene the Poogene.
The Poo of your soul
=
The Poo that lays hidden deep inside you
Let that inner Poo come out.
The details of Pootopia are these.
Fact: Pootopia begins on Friday June 24 at 8pm
Fact: Pootopia will be held at Tacombi (267 Elizabeth Street)
Fact: At Pootopia, we will all dress as Eugene the Poogene
Fact: At Pootopia, food and drinks will be served from taco trucks parked inside the venue
Fact: Poo will be escorted to Pootopia under the guise of a private dinner, and he will have no idea what awaits him
Fact: I will be texted upon Poo’s approach, so that everyone can start chanting “Poo Gene! Poo Gene!”, and he will hear it from way down the street, which will completely freak his s#$! out
Fact: I’ve sure I’ve left some important people off of this chain so please feel free to forward along the invitation to other Poogene lovers
Please let me know if you can make it/if you have any questions.
Be there.
Liana
Saturday, June 25, 2011
pootopia
umm.
hi.
um. This probably isn’t going to make much sense to you, but I’m pretty sure I just woke up from what must have been a dream.
In this dream I was traipsing along Houston street with a couple of loved ones and we was just talking and laughing as good friends do. I began to feel good about myself. I began to feel so good about myself that as we hooked a left on Elizabeth st, I heard some voices in my head chanting “poogene! poogene! poogene!” I turned to my friends and was like, “do you hear that? do you hear the glorious narcissistic voices in my head too?”
my friend then opens up these enormous gates that swing wide open into an enchanted kingdom whereupon I encountered a sea of beautiful people that look like poogene with hair almost as good as poogene and they’re all chanting “poogene!” (lil’ self-indulge I know, but it’s my dream.)
The first thing that came to my mind was, “holy shit. taco’s. I’m starving”
but you guys wanna know what the second thing that came to my mind was?
I looked across the poogene sea and upon closer inspection I saw that inside of each “poogene with hair almost as good as poogene” was you all. and that there is what it is. If there’s any special sauce I am bringin to the table, it’s because of you guys. If I seem to be dancing on sunshine whenever you’re around, please understand that it’s because you’re around. It’s all this beautiful magical cycle that I refuse to take credit for because if I happen to light up a room by chance, it’s a direct cause and effect of how you make me feel. It’s very important that you know this. It’s going to be on the exam. So dig it-
I just love you so fucking much is all.
So when I saw you as all as poogene last night, it all made sense because what I really saw is that it’s all of you that make me who I am.
I’m so incredibly fortunate to have you all in my life and I don’t understand how it happened, but I promise to never take it for granted and I pray that it never stops.
thank you family. so much
eugene the poogene
ps- I ran to the bathroom, - and this is the strangest part of the whole dream. there were no mirrors… just so you know. if this was truly my dream. there would be mirrors.
Please don’t reply to this email. I’m still digesting.
hi.
um. This probably isn’t going to make much sense to you, but I’m pretty sure I just woke up from what must have been a dream.
In this dream I was traipsing along Houston street with a couple of loved ones and we was just talking and laughing as good friends do. I began to feel good about myself. I began to feel so good about myself that as we hooked a left on Elizabeth st, I heard some voices in my head chanting “poogene! poogene! poogene!” I turned to my friends and was like, “do you hear that? do you hear the glorious narcissistic voices in my head too?”
my friend then opens up these enormous gates that swing wide open into an enchanted kingdom whereupon I encountered a sea of beautiful people that look like poogene with hair almost as good as poogene and they’re all chanting “poogene!” (lil’ self-indulge I know, but it’s my dream.)
The first thing that came to my mind was, “holy shit. taco’s. I’m starving”
but you guys wanna know what the second thing that came to my mind was?
I looked across the poogene sea and upon closer inspection I saw that inside of each “poogene with hair almost as good as poogene” was you all. and that there is what it is. If there’s any special sauce I am bringin to the table, it’s because of you guys. If I seem to be dancing on sunshine whenever you’re around, please understand that it’s because you’re around. It’s all this beautiful magical cycle that I refuse to take credit for because if I happen to light up a room by chance, it’s a direct cause and effect of how you make me feel. It’s very important that you know this. It’s going to be on the exam. So dig it-
I just love you so fucking much is all.
So when I saw you as all as poogene last night, it all made sense because what I really saw is that it’s all of you that make me who I am.
I’m so incredibly fortunate to have you all in my life and I don’t understand how it happened, but I promise to never take it for granted and I pray that it never stops.
thank you family. so much
eugene the poogene
ps- I ran to the bathroom, - and this is the strangest part of the whole dream. there were no mirrors… just so you know. if this was truly my dream. there would be mirrors.
Please don’t reply to this email. I’m still digesting.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
die nasty
"The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer."
-joan collins
"The beauty in love is not in the receiving but in the giving"
- i dunno was it really donal?
-joan collins
"The beauty in love is not in the receiving but in the giving"
- i dunno was it really donal?
save rays!
so today was my first day on the job! i put in about ehhh.... 3 solid hours at the legendary ray's candy store in the east village. i got to make egg creams, quick math, ice cream shakes, coffee, egg creams, cheese fries, deep fried oreos. everyone gets fries there. that is the big mover. it was pretty fun i must admit. i would say over the course of 50 people, 45 were interesting to talk to and 2 were stunning. the problem was that i have nice clothes and that place will make me smell like a deep fryer when i leave. billya showed me the ropes.
also hung out with my go to gal for the first time in two years. sweetheart. so glad she's not a hooker. it was crazy that i was so obsessed with her 4 years ago. we don't have much in common and now that i'm not as inspired by her like that anymore my shit must not be as funny so she yawns after about 3 hours with me.
hmm...
i was tight at rays today tho! there was old bay salt and i told them to old bay their parents. people asked me if they fry anything there and what i like to fry. i said since i was asian, i liked to fry kites.
hm.
g'nite!
also hung out with my go to gal for the first time in two years. sweetheart. so glad she's not a hooker. it was crazy that i was so obsessed with her 4 years ago. we don't have much in common and now that i'm not as inspired by her like that anymore my shit must not be as funny so she yawns after about 3 hours with me.
hmm...
i was tight at rays today tho! there was old bay salt and i told them to old bay their parents. people asked me if they fry anything there and what i like to fry. i said since i was asian, i liked to fry kites.
hm.
g'nite!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
wonder woman
it's totally like it. sick all day... quick fix makes me feel great for a minnit and then crash.
assive aggressive
oh man... this is going to be difficult. today is agaonizing. sleeping was nonexistent last night. i keep on stepping outside of myself and slapping myself telling myself to man the fuck up. nothing ever happened. it's amazing that i felt something after a very prologed numbness. i'm glad that the (somewhat crazy and destructive) passion still exists in me, i just uhh... wish direct it somewheres... pathetic. i think since i have to distance, i'll write over here where you can't see. like hidden on this public blog that is open to the world. i love you, mind... but sometimes you are evil. idjut.
Monday, March 07, 2011
the blue light was my lady, the red light was my mind....
i wanna listen to your music
i wanna play my music for you
i wanna take you down the coast of california and camp in big sur
i wanna run rocks with you in tuolomne meadows
i wanna sleep under the stars with you in yosemite
i wanna make fun of you
i wanna laugh with you all day all night, all the time
i wanna write magic with you
i wanna buy silly trinkets for you
i wanna meetcha to my mom
i wanna make stupid movies with you
i wanna take care of you
i wanna be taken care of by you
i wanna still look good for you while i still got it
i wanna see how this feeling that is foreign to me evolves
i wanna stay at home and cook food together
i wanna get high and go see art with you
i wanna see the world with you
i wanna read the paper with you while we eat the brunch that
i wanna make with you
i wanna pack lunches with you
i wanna ride bikes with you
i wanna kiss you soft
i wanna kiss you hard
i wanna explore new parts of the city with you
i wanna eat chinese food late at night with you
i wanna read books that you recommend
i wanna hear you say get over yourself
i wanna have you help me design my apartment
i wanna hear you tell me to clip my disgusting toenails
i wanna have you around to help tell me when to shower
i wanna just hang out around my house just being myself...
with you.
that kinda shit.
but doorknobs got in the way.
fuck.
i wanna play my music for you
i wanna take you down the coast of california and camp in big sur
i wanna run rocks with you in tuolomne meadows
i wanna sleep under the stars with you in yosemite
i wanna make fun of you
i wanna laugh with you all day all night, all the time
i wanna write magic with you
i wanna buy silly trinkets for you
i wanna meetcha to my mom
i wanna make stupid movies with you
i wanna take care of you
i wanna be taken care of by you
i wanna still look good for you while i still got it
i wanna see how this feeling that is foreign to me evolves
i wanna stay at home and cook food together
i wanna get high and go see art with you
i wanna see the world with you
i wanna read the paper with you while we eat the brunch that
i wanna make with you
i wanna pack lunches with you
i wanna ride bikes with you
i wanna kiss you soft
i wanna kiss you hard
i wanna explore new parts of the city with you
i wanna eat chinese food late at night with you
i wanna read books that you recommend
i wanna hear you say get over yourself
i wanna have you help me design my apartment
i wanna hear you tell me to clip my disgusting toenails
i wanna have you around to help tell me when to shower
i wanna just hang out around my house just being myself...
with you.
that kinda shit.
but doorknobs got in the way.
fuck.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, April 09, 2010
sneezy like sunday morning...
am i getting so picky with women that i don't think i could be with a half sneezer? the ones that don't do the "choo" when they sneeze?
i'm fucked.
i'm fucked.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
scoot the boot
let it be known that i eugene the poogene, think scooting on my fireball vespa is fun but am not too concerned with the security of it. i like bicycling better and scooting kinda stresses me out. if it gets stolen or whatever, i'm fine with it and it probably will save my life...
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