all pics taken courtesy of girlhattan who is much better at this kinda thing...
you'd be better off not reading this entry everybody.
sorry i haven't updated this in a week peepee. (does anyone else even read this?)
been a bit nuts. nothing very funny to write about, butt i'll get that spark back soon. promise. but here is minor midlife crisis...
work-
so at the age of 34 it is a bit difficult to come to terms with work. last week i was interviewing this guy to be a peer or superior or whatever. within minutes i could see that this guy was like 10x the guy that i am. now i've been doing what i've been doing for like 10 years now... even if i'm not that passionate about it, one should have a certain sense of pride to want to do their job and do it well. and again, even though i'm not passionate about it- 10 years dude. if i wasn't learning all i could then it equates to a waste of time and it very bad to look back and think you've wasted 10 years of a precious life.
it has been the vehicle for money and i have been performing quite regularly and so that's all good, butt i don't wanna be just that normal guy. also the company i work for has some of the most beautiful people i have ever met in my life and in the 6 years i been with them they have been so good to me and been a family. you would think that i would've tried a lot harder for people that i say i love and care about.
women-
erilistoelpollo the beautiful spirit and i are no longer an hot ticket because i am too picky and can't compromise for anyone for shit. not too worried but getting a little scared now that no one seems to be holding my interest for more than a week. am i too picky? am i too jaded? am i too arrogant to not comproise and inch? who am i to expect everyone to conform to me?
crazy drama last saturday maybe it's fiction.
started out with a very pleasant brunch with girlhattan of eggs hussard at mcnally's spot in the LES. looked like eggs benedict with syrup so i got it. it was actually mushroom sawce...
then the crazy drama
so bambi and i are shopping resumes after we agreed not to see each other, but he really wanted to see me for 5 minutes and i agreed. we're in one of my friend's restaurants where we are shopping around her resume and then all of a sudden grizzly comes in disheveled about how empty she has been feeling. i run out to console her and tell her to calm down and go to her room and i'll be there in 20 minutes. i tell bambi that i can help her bring her resumes to two more places butt then i gotta go comfort my friend. he gets all upset and says you're gunna leave me for him? i thought you said you were busy this weekend!??! i said, dude! did you see her? she's beside herself and i need to see what's wrong with my friend's when they're in trouble. if a friend is crying i will always follow up! then bambi ran off and said, okay look! look! i'm crying now, you gunna comfort me or him?!?! dude! i'm the drama queen... i want to be the one that's crying!
just kidding...
dude..
i had just spent two months with pollo and it was really nice. super fun and sweet and gorgeous, butt it didn't feel right. i was chasing her thinking... if i let him go it will really be over. this is not how it should end and she deserves better, but i can't just continue to see her and be friends because well... you know. it's difficult.
later that day irish and leaves for good failure. brazil and eleven failure...
the whole day was a failure. sorry i have to be cryptic butt i guess it's necessary. i just want to look back for me and i'll know what they mean.
that night workhorse and girlhattan and i met at BLT Fish and had the tower of power platter which was like 115 dollars of raw bar and it was very delicious. some lady asked me for a light before dinner and then after dinner i was outside and she said where are you going and they followed us to speakeasy.
i really don't know how to read things, butt i think if i wanted i may have been able to have my first one night stand with a woman that was kinda on my tip that night. butt alas, of course i didn't because i'm a loser and because i was just feeling kinda shitty that day and that whole week. 
my mom came home from korea to report that her eldest brother and my uncle had passed away. then there is another brother "fart" uncle that is in very bad shape and won't be with us much longer as well...
this is horrible.
i am not taking classes.
sunday i slept in until 2 because i was a little down, butt then i went to meet jenk and we saw the borat and that really cheered me up. borat and jenk. jenk is really adorable and fun and wonderful and thanks for cheering me up. butt she had to go to dinner. i met up with momocito and he cooked me dinner being the beautiful man that he is. it was his birthday on monday. i love you momocito. he went to canada to celebrate.
then i went home and was still a bit down. until istanbul gave me a call and came over.... we talked about where we both are in life and it was sad to realize how comforting it was to see another person down in the doldrums as well. she left at around 1am and it was hmm... i dunno... butt i did see her off.
monday i went to my first NBA game and saw 5'9" nate block yao ming in these 250 dollar seats. thanks axiom for that again... then i went to see how gabe was doing with his shop that is going to take over the world.
tuesday i went to afdy for the first time in forever and couldn't get in the circle. met up with gae again, then went to nicky's.
went boxing this morning with alec hella early and today i'm eating lunch togo. scary. i will always be attracted to 20year olds. it is time i stopped doing something about it. right?
right.
shit.
very contemplative week. a semi mid life? that's exciting...
time to cooking...
happy thanksgiving peoples
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