(thanks for the pic peepee!)
(Summer 2000 begins right around 9:48pm EST 6/20/2000)
Hot hot (pant) hot hot (pant) hot hot (pant) hot hot (capri-pant)...
Jesus man... I can't even believe how many beautiful people are out there walkin' the streets right now shakin' their thangs all up in my face.... I swear to god I walked to the corner store last night and seriously considered proposing to 14 women. In fact i did ask six of 'em- and of course none said yes.
Well actually one didn't say anything.
Well, actually she couldn't talk... er- well actually she was a bird... Uhhhh- well yeah, (heh!) ummm... see actually I don't even know if it was a she because, well uhhh- I didn't check to see if the damn bird had any nards.
Hm. I wish the bird could talk though... I mean outta the six, I really think i had shot with this bird... Dejected, i walked home thinking about this unrequited love... wishing there were more parrots or cockatoo's in the city instead of these useless no talkin' pathetic pigeons that litter my area and just tease me... I guess I shouldn't think about them OWL the time- I just hope cupid's SPARROW find's my heart someday- hot BIRDing desire- the day i find a true love will be a hiSTORK event- sometimes i get so horny i just wish i could get a bird to sick my DUCK- huh?!??!?
Poogene... please stop.
So this morning I got up just like every other day. I walked over to the fridge to grab a hot dog so I could look at something entertaining while I went poo... Making my way to the toilet, I sat down to manufacture some poo from my anus. The heat & humidity of this summer air were strong and ass I got- up my butt skin peeled off the hot porcelain love seat like a fruit roll up, (fruit leather if you're 23 & under). I decided to hop in the shower and let the anal juice rinse down my leg in the shower. I went in the shower and started thinking about how ingenious pork is whilst I soaped up my back. Ass I was doing this, some of the glycerin foam slowly started to make it's way down my back into the joyous canal which is my ass crack. I began to giggle at the sensation ass it was reminiscient of the good ol' times my uncle would burn the crack pipe on my creamy inner thighs when i was nine and my aunt would pop a boner, while my mom would fart to the tune of "How great thou fart" and my dad would say, "Look family, I am a thorny grape with baboon sauce!!!" and would proceed to drive around town with a bannana tiara...
Ahhhh, blissful sweet childhood memories...
Anushow, as the glycerin foam entered the crack I simultaneously laid one of my more pretentious farts in quite a while. It left my colon and caused my happy tender cheek-a-roni's to ripple in the wake of it... "Flap! Flap! Flap!" my happy tender cheek-a-roni's said to me!!! "Hello" I cheerily greeted back to my happy flappy anus! It was a fart so long that I thought to myself, "Damn Poogene! This is long fart!!!" The fart was so long in fact that even after I finished thinking to myself, "Damn Poogene! This is a long fart!" it continued for several seconds longer!!! In fact I could have even thought to myself, "Damn Poogene this is a really long fart... Let me repeat! Damn Poogene this is a really long fart!!" and it still would have been spewing out my sphincter even then. Butt why would I think that twice?!?! That would be redundant and illogical... I guess that is why I thought "Damn Poogene this is a really long fart!" only once instead of twi- Waaaaait!!!!!
Wait just a cotton colon butt pickin minnit!!!!! I seem to have gotten a bit off track here-- er... What was I talking about?!?!?! Oh yeah! The reason I find six year old boys so sexy is because they're asses are so damn tig- HEY!!!! No, uh- I guess I wasn't really talking about that...
Ummmmmm... As the sinewy soap suds surrounded my sphincter, I laid this tremendous fart which produced a bubble so grandoise that I had to wrap myself around it. The bubble burst through my apartment and next thing I knew I was above the streets of Manhattan looking down at a young girl shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! Look at the the naked pansy flying on the bubble like a retarded, ugly, baboon!!!!" I cheerily laughed and waved back to her and threw her a dingleberry with a hair or three still tangled in it- for lack of anything else to give her (i was nekkid, mind you). She caught it with one hand and started eating it... I heartily laughed again, winked at her, and gave her a knowing nod of approval... Such a CHEERY season.
CHEERY CHEERY CHEERY.
Everything was going so smooth until I passed by an advertisement for a new brand of cashmere toilet paper!!! This made me even more CHEERY. Next thing I knew my penis started getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger... until it stood fully erect at a magnificent 1.327 inches!!!!! I looked down beaming with pride at my Mr. Big making me even more CHEERY. Then- my humongous piece of meat poked the through and burst my bubble and I landed all butt nekkid and shit on the dirty sidewalk... I was all dirty and bruised from the fall, butt felt satisfied that I could now say, "I popped my cheery" (er- sorry) I gave myself a pat on the back for a job well dung.
May the warmth and light of this sunny season brighten up everyone's mood and allow us to take things less seriously and have more fun because more fun ROOOLZ!!!!!
Hope all of you get to experience a lot of hot shit this summer and of course I love you all...
fart!
Your sphincter messiah,
Eugene the Poogene
1 comment:
you're hot.
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