serfdom's up!

i just got back from Elliot Zuckerman's surf school in strong island...

it was a beautiful sunset in long island tonight and that's when we were picked up by some of long island's finest beefcake in a wetsuit...

we drove out to this beautiful beach called anchor beach and aurelia, me and about 6 other students were ready to face the mammoth 1 footers that were galloping towards us. we started off on the beach doing pop-up drills, basically lying down on your board and then popping up to your feet as quickly as possible... i found myself to be a natural at this movement because i found it very similar to when i was younger and i would be having sex with my dog and then upong hearing my mom come home, i would have to pop-up very quickly and pretend i was teaching the dog to heel.

anushow, the first lesson you don't have to worry about paddling. aurelia and i got mr. zuckerman himself because he showed a slight affection towards aurelia. and she showed an equal admiration and effection for what he does for disabled children read the feel good pdf of the summer. this elliot zuckerman dude is gregarious, a stud on the waves, and a heart as big as his biceps.

he would push us out and we would just have to worry about standing up and sailing in. i got about 4 good runs all the way to the sand on my first day.

now... this thing that they mention. the magic feeling you get when you've caught one is indescribeable. i guess the longest i was up was for about maybe 10 seconds, butt i dunno i can't explain it... i guess for the people out there who are lucky enough to get laid every couple years or so, it might be comprable to sex.

i just can't remember how that feels...

ahem.

anushow. i strongly reccomend you go try it if you can, and if you got sixty bux- give it to this saint.

maybe don't go out there in a gay ass bathing suit like i did though. the waves hiked up about 80% of my bathing suit up my sphincter and i was exposing some serious nutsack to the manly men of long island who were trying to teach me how to surf... thank god aurelia was there. i think they thought we were together so some semblance of my heterosexuality was on display between my non-existent ass shining at them and my toenail polish.

as for me, i want to be one of them now... i want to go to hawaii and just drop everything and live on the beach. i want to feel what i felt tonight...

surf until i'm exhausted, after the ocean has twisted my body into various advanced ashtanga poses, heart exploding with adrenaline, and the body's muscles have reached a peaceful state of nirvana because they've been exhausted and relaxed by the therapeutic effect that water has on your bodacious bod... i'll then crawl over to the sand, crash on my back, smoke a cigarette and watch the sun set over the horizon...

sign me up!

serfs = laborers bound to the land
surfers = thrill seekers bound to the sea

fart!

poogene!